nitwit, blubber, oddment, tweak. thank you.

I think blogging is a thing that must be practiced.

                                                    I am out of practice.

I have no idea what to do with this here, with ... this.

So I think I'm going to stop deleting things I think and type and just...

Just go?

I'm wearing a bird earring.  It's cool.

I give my Saturdays to my cello, and I don't regret it at all.  I love it.  I need more practice, but I love it.

Spending so much time with my cello makes me think of things I sometimes wish I could do better.

Like blog.

And stay in touch.

And put things in their proper places.

And own a bicycle.

Know what I miss?  Film.  I did a semester of photo in high school.  I had black and white film and a single lens reflex camera.  It went places with me, in much the same way my moleskin does now. (I know the brand is Moleskine.)

It was really relaxing for me to hang out in the darkroom.  Especially at the end of the year, when all the assignments were done, and I had a bunch of leftover photo paper and old negatives, and more experience and stuff.  And it was quiet in there.

I like the quiet.

And I don't much mind being alone.

Nor do I mind people.  I can't, with a family as large and as loud as my own.

I love my family.

I'm exhausted.

How are you, how have you been?  Really.  I'd love to hear the answer(s) to that question.

PS: I heard the goundhog predicted an early spring.  Today felt like spring.  I loved it.

today, some things happened.

Sometimes big things happen, and it means you have to make adjustments, or accept the way things turned out.

Sometimes big things are gonna happen, and it means you have to brace yourself for whenever they do.

Sometimes big things might happen, and it means you have to be prepared to make adjustments, or be prepared to keep going, even though things are the same.

Sometimes big things must happen, and it means you have to really spend some serious time thinking, and maybe even go a few nights without enough sleep to really plan out how to pull things off....

But other times 
big things happen, and it doesn't mean very much at all.  You don't have to change/accept the way things changed/get ready for changes/change how you thought things might be/change what you spend your time thinking about.

Sometimes big things are 

no big deal.

Today I did some very important things.  Some pretty much life-changing things.  Not just pretty much, these things will change my life.  

... So what?

I was walking to the HFAC, I pulled out my phone, I pushed some numbers, said some words, did the basic phone-call thing.  No big deal.  Sure, that phone-call was important enough to change the course of my life, but life goes on.  Sure, all the signs that were pointing me in the direction of be-a-successful-human-being were all plucked out of the ground, thrown into a mixing bowl, and then rearranged, altered, replaced, or just thrown out, but why should that be anything big?

I changed my major.  Over the phone.  I'm not an English major anymore, I'm a Theatre Arts Studies major, but the department calls me Pre-Theatre Ed.  This is something that's really important to me.  Shouldn't it feel big?  If things happen that change your future, it's big!

...Isn't it?

When the girl on the phone said, "Okay, just to confirm, the English major will be DELETED!!!!!!, right?" I did feel a small tug of something like nostalgia, kinda like English major heard the conversation I was having and said from the background, "oh dang, I thought we were gonna do stuff later," but then it went back to doing whatever it had been doing before, and didn't bring it up again.

That was all.  It was small.  And I replied to the girl, "yeah, sure, go ahead."

It was important! And it wasn't even the only important thing that happened today;  I could go into big detail about the important things that happened today, but I'm not gonna.  Partially because I want to be done talking so much, and partially because I want to go to sleep, but probably mostly because I don't really think it's that big of a deal.  

I don't want to talk about those things.  It doesn't interest me, I guess.  

Yeah, today some things happened.  

But they were just ... things.  

Important?  

Undeniably.

Big?  

... Well I don't think so.

All done?

Sure.

That's Great.

I wrote this for a class.  The prompt was "What is 'greatness'?"

I decided to put it here, 'cause... it's midnight?  (Yeah! Take that! Validated!)

That’s Great

The word liters our most common sentences.

            “I’m doing great.”

            “It was a great movie.”

            “Oh great, now what?”

It is on the standard-issue list of basic English vocabulary.  It was one of the first words to earn a text-message abbreviation.

            “U r crzy! Lol! That soundz g8!”

It is the word we use to describe the man responsible for the growth of the Roman Empire, and the time period that drained pockets and the spirits of people throughout the world.

It is a compliment.

It is an adjective.

It is quite a lot of things.

But what is it?  What makes something qualify as great?

In creations of the arts, in discoveries of science, in defining-times of history, the things we consider significant have recurring themes.

The Mona Lisa.

Beethoven’s Fifth.

The name of a great artwork spikes the attention of our memories.  The names are familiar to us, and in many cases we can see a famous painting, or hear a famous composition in our minds, subconsciously reminding us what the piece is.  The work becomes an essential part of our culture, even after centuries of new creations.  It stays with us.

            Microbiology.

            Electricity.

Whether commonplace or incomprehensible, our lives are affected by the great discoveries of science.  Revolutionary thinkers develop ideas that change our lives.  We accept the theories.  We take advantage of the wisdom.  We enjoy the comforts.

            The Revolutionary War.

            The Gutenberg Press.

Great moments in history are recorded, then published in textbooks years later. The moments that change the course of our world are studied, taught, remembered.  Nations are formed.  Dreams become possibilities.

What the world deems great, the world remembers.  The world is affected by greatness, and by greatness the world is changed.

And yet, when my 10-year-old brother tells me about his imaginative plan for inventing the best-ever fighter-plane, I give him my honest opinion: “That’s a great idea!”  No world will remember the invincible armor.  No world will be changed by the five-million-miles-per-hour speed.  But his idea is great.

My world will remember.  His world changes mine.  For me, there is significance; for me, there is greatness.

The end.

Jo

"... anyway, so that's when the aliens showed up."

Once, I was talking to my brother.

More like he was talking at me.  And I listened and enjoyed.  And then he just sort of...
ran out of words on the topic.  But I hadn't finished listening.  So after a well-timed pause, he said:

"Anyway, so that's when the aliens showed up."

And I just laughed.  And then we talked about that comment for a while....

Now I'm gonna sidetrack myself for just a bit:
     I really miss Calvin.  I'm glad he is where he is.  And I'm glad I miss him.  Because that means that he matters to me, y'know?  It means we were tight before he left.  And we're tight now.  We come from a tight family.  That's what happens when you try to squeeze so many people like us into one house.  (I almost mean this literally.  In my old home, there was a point where 5 of us kids shared one bedroom, and my parents and youngest sister slept in another.)  We may reeeeeeeeeaally bug each other, but we're tight.  We spend time with each other.  We know each other.  It's good.  Hard sometimes, but good.

Okay.  Back to whatever was going on before the sidetrack:

He and I both used the aliens comment pretty often after that first time when we came to a point in conversation when we didn't know what to say.  I still use it.  He might.  Dunno.  Anyway, I use it differently at times, but usually it serves as a variation on supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.

Here's another digression:
The same discussed Calvin wrote a variation on the song Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.

"When no one can stand your breath, my friend, that's halitosis.

H-A-L-I-T-O-S-I-S spells 'halitosis'.

If your breath is rank, then this might be your diagnosis:

H-A-L-I-T-O-S-I-S spells 'halitosis'!"

You know, you could spell it backwards which would be S-I-S-O-T-I-L-A-H, but that won't really do much for your breath....  
Try to sing that song.  It still takes concentration to get that O and final I to stay in the right place.

Okay.  Enough digression.  Now I'll regress so that this post can progress, and maybe actually conclude successfully.

I had no idea what to say.  I sat, just watching the cursor flash on and off in the title bar, trying to write something.   And that was about when the aliens showed up.  (Thanks for the inspiration, guys.)

Also, Calvin's birthday was last Sunday, and I felt like talking about him.  Now I have.
So now I'll go.
End.
Jos

i like the word 'ferocious'

Ferocious.

Ferocious.

Just feel it, it feels nice.

Ferocious.

'Ferocious' etymologically means 'fierce looking'. I think it's the looking half of that meaning that allows people to use ferocious in an endearing way. ... When I picture a kid that I'd describe as 'ferocious', I see, for example, my little brother. His excitement, his intensity, his passion, his courage.

Ferocious. Its dictionary definition isn't as endearing.

1 : exhibiting or given to extreme fiercenes

s and unrestrained violence and brutality

Of course, its second definition is much more along the lines of endearing. Heck, I used 'intensity' to justify 'ferocious' in my little brother.

2 : extremely intense

Ferocious....

'Ferocious' could describe my April, by either definition. Both. I was really bad at doing anything beyond the world of AP Testing. Honestly, much of the AP-centered time was spent wishing that I had my moleskin instead of whatever notebook happened to be in front of me, and trying to want to try to concentrate. (This is not a very effective study routine, and I wouldn't really recommend it.)

But my AP weeks are over! All I have now is my IB Music test, but that's in two weeks. (The time dedicated to that test will be ferocious to me as well, but probably more productive and reasonably spaced out.)

The new Ferocious in my life at present is the orphaned child of those conquered AP Test-prep Ferociouses. (The prep stressed me. The tests were tiring, but quick; I don't frequently find myself stressed when I'm taking a test. Only before....) My new Ferocious will be recovering. The prep madness had me acting quite negligent toward most everything else. My room, for example, holds a ferocious mess. Another example would be my AP US History grade. Ironically, I was so focussed on the test that some assignments were left unfinished.

But the weather of things are finally coming back to a less ferocious storm. :)

A major evidence: Blog Post.

(Although, this is also because I am taking a break... Heh.)

I have more posts coming. May will maybe show ferocious numbers of blog posts. Hopefully.

That's all for now though,

Jos